Hi! We're Cheryl and Claire.
the mother-daughter duo behind "Done with Nice"
Since you're "Done with Nice" are you going to be MEAN now?
Absolutely NOT! There's a BIG difference between being nice and being kind. Check out THIS PAGE. Being Done with Nice is about being kind to yourself as well as to others. It's about living authentically and being your BEST self. Not the self you feel you SHOULD be or the self that society tells you that you should be, but the self you are deep down. It's about deciding what works best for you and your life. Not what others think we, as people who identify as women, are. It's about evaluating the messages we hear (from ourselves and others) and deciding what stays and what we getrid of.
What credentials and experience does Cheryl have?
My PhD in clinical psychology (Syracuse University) taught me to be able to tell the difference between fluffy, junky research and the solid real-deal. It also taught me how to help and teach others. But, to be straight, my teaching skills were really polished homeschooling our two girls and working with other homeschooled kids. That's when I realized thatI love being an educator.
How long did it take to get your PhD?
It took 10 years of intense coursework and training, including a year-long internship (like the intense residencies medical doctors do). Plus, it took another couple of years to finish and write my dissertation (basically a book about my own research)--chasing a toddler aroundadded a wee bit of time.
How are you different?
I've been in your shoes AND have the professional training.
I came face-to-face with the dangers of being “too nice” in my mid-30's. One day I was chasing after my two young daughters and the next day I couldn't even walk to the bathroom without help. My life became filled with specialists, wheelchairs, and canes.
My mantra is, “There’s ALWAYS a way.” There's always SOMETHING that'll turn things around.
So I tried anything and everything to get better. From surgeries to alternative medicine. Wild concoctions to off-beat diets. Some worked a treat. Others didn’t do a bloomin’ thing. But my life turned around when I started changing my mindsets and thoughts.
Now I'm better than ever. My inner "nice girl" no longer holds me back. And I want the same for you! You absolutely CAN be the person you've always felt, in your heart, you were meant to be.
How can you help me?
You can get started with my free content--videos, blog posts, social media posts.
But if you want faster, quicker, and more in-depth help (changes that last), then my online courses are the way go. They include videos and workbooks to teach you the ideas, information, and techniques that'll help you make the changes YOU need.
Want a sample of what and how I teach? Try our free course (open soon!).
Will this work for me?
It’s up to you. I have dear friends who SAY they want to change. Yet it's pretty clear they don't feel up to doing the work.
Be honest with yourself. Change takes guidance, motivation, determination, patience, work . . . and it's ABSOLUTELY possible.
What parts of my life can I change?
Changing your mindsets, habits, and interactions can improve everything in your life. As YOU feel better about yourself, your relationships can get better too. That means you can improve your career, family, finances, self-esteem, and confidence (plus more!).
How fast can I expect to see changes?
I wish I could answer that. Everyone's different and it depends on lots of things. Your mindset and habits. What you've tried in the past. How hungry you REALLY are to change (a hungrier person works harder). The list goes on.
But there's one thing I CAN tell you. Sometimes one seemingly tiny idea can start a chain-reaction of immediate new changes. It's like the thought gets in your head and, poof!, things start turning completely around.
Who's the young woman with you ?
That's Claire, my daughter and assistant! Since she's earlier on her "Done with Nice" journey, she keeps me on my toes. She's quick to point out when I need to explain more or when things aren't clear. It's easy to take things for granted when you've been practicing habits for years. We make a great team because she makes sure I remember what it feels like for you as a beginner when I teach.
Our close relationship also shows what's possible for you and your loved ones! And, yes! We really are this crazy silly when we get together!
How'd you both get such a positive vibe?
Changing our mindsets, habits, and the nasty stories we tell ourselves in our heads. I also learned quick, easy hacks to turn my mood around in moments (based on the biochemistry of the body and brain) and have taught Claire how to do the same. Both of us are always learning and growing. And now we can help you do the same!
You're so happy. Can you help me get happier and more confident, too?
Absolutely! We didn't use to be happy. In fact, I struggled with some big-time blues as a teen and young adult. And Claire struggled with overwhelming anxiety when she was younger.
Having health problems that turned my life upside-down was actually one of those blessings-in-disguise moments. It forced me to change and to find ways to be happier.
I remember lying on the couch watching our two little girls play with my husband and their grandparents. It broke my heart missing out on these precious, fleeting days.
Yet at the same time, I began feeling incredibly grateful for every tiny blessing. My days of being in the dumps melted away. As my gratitude grew, I started feeling more joy which opened me up to learn even more ways to get happier.
What we learned can help you too.
What if my family doesn't like the changes I make?
It's possible that your “lovies” might not like some of the changes at first. Give them a head's up! Tell them what and why you're doing it.Help them realize that the work you're doing for yourself is eventually going to help them too.
Remember, “You can’t pour water from an empty pitcher.”
If you aren’t taking care of yourself, eventually you’ll have nothing left to give. Once you take better care of yourself, you'll have more energy, resources, and time to take care of the ones you love.
Is it hard work?
I'm not gonna sugarcoat it. Real and lasting change means putting in time and energy. There's no magic pill. But it's not rocket science either!
More work = better results.
If you're not up for doing the work yet, save your time and energy, and skip my courses for now. I’ll be here when you’re ready to start!
Do you "walk your talk?"
That's why people come to me for advice! My grown-up daughters ask for my advice on just about every topic (instead of going to their friends!). And I go to my daughters for advice on fashion, make-up, etc. People often say how "cute" we are together and how they want a relationship like ours when their daughters are grown up.
I married my best friend and high school sweetheart decades ago, yet people smile because we still hold hands. Waitresses refer to us as "the newlyweds" while friends tell us we have the relationship everyone dreams of. (HINT: it takes work.)
How can I find out more?
To find out more about my courses and the pricing, check out my Courses page (it will be up and running soon!).
Sign up for my free course (open soon!). It'll give you an idea of what my training courses and workbooks are like.
And if you want some fun "Done with Nice" swag, check out this. It’s a great way to remind you what you want in life.
Are you doing this on your own?
Nope! As I mentioned above, my daughter, Claire, is right by my side walking the “Done with Nice” talk. She helps keep things lively! And since she's on the beginning of her DONE path, she has a fresh perspective of what's working and what's not.
We work as a close-knit team even though we live in very different parts of the country. While I'm writing and creating in the often cold Northeast, she’s dancing away at a professional ballet company in the warm and sunny South.